Sexual Energy:
From Self to Others (and Back)

Sexual energy comes from the self. When you have it, you can share it with others. You don't need somebody else to make you sexy – you are intrinsically sexy if you want to be. It is not that you could have great sex if you found the perfect partner – you can have great sex with the partner that you have if you use your own energy to make it great.

It is important to pay attention to cultivating your own sexual energy. That means looking after your body and spending time consciously giving yourself pleasure. It requires some skill and the right mental attitude to get the most out of it.

When we have this working effectively inside ourselves, we can send sexiness out to the people around us, encouraging them to bounce that energy back to us. Thus, focusing on the self can bring benefits to our partners too.

Here are some inspiring quotes that emphasize the value of self-pleasuring for ourselves and those we interact with.

From Smart Masturbation for Men by David Sexguy Williamson -

“The sense of security in your ability to have high quality sexual satisfaction on your own will impact your love life first and foremost. One immediately noticeable change will be the desire to share with and produce in your current or future lover(s) the same degree of intense erotic satisfaction that you regularly derive from your own body. Being able to give ever more pleasure to yourself will make you want to give more pleasure to others.”

From The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand –

“Self-pleasuring is also likely to improve your relationship with your lover, because you don’t feel dependent on him or her for your satisfaction. Your partner, in turn, doesn’t have to feel responsible for your ecstasy. The whole performance pressure of satisfying the other person is removed, allowing more freedom and more sense of equality. Through practice it becomes clear that only you can improve the quality of your orgasm. And because the actual quality of the orgasm depends on you, it is important to develop an awareness of how your body moves, how your muscles react, how the depth and rhythm of your breathing can help in the experience of pleasure, and how pleasure can be intensified and made to last longer.”

From Masturbation, Tantra and Self-Love by Margo Woods –

“It seems that the most important ingredient of sexuality is that personal magnetism, that magnetic attraction. With it, sex is easy. Without it, sex becomes a hassle and a chore. The masturbation exercise, without a doubt, increases one’s personal magnetism. I began to see that my vitality, my aliveness and my enthusiasm were increasing noticeably. Friends would comment on how wonderful I looked, how alive I was. I began to learn that I could direct the energy to any part of my body, not only my heart, and began using it for healing, directing it to any part of my body that wasn’t feeling right.”

If this interestes you, I would be happy to work with you in a session using tantric methods to build personal sexual energy and enhance the level of pleasure that you get from your own body